NASA: Curiosity Has Found Plastic On Mars

Laughter and derision swept across our fair red world today as the Council of Elders confirmed the success of an intelligence coup against the green diagonally-tilted controlling intelligences (and their accompanying green spherule-shaped periodic functions) who continue to operate from undisclosed locations on the sinister blue planet.

K'Breel, Speaker for the Council, spoke thus:

Today marks another victory in our ongoing psyops campaign against the blueworlders. Renjoice, podmates, at the consternation of our enemies! On the homefront, our forces continue to track and monitor the intruder's activity. Laser-resistance is not the only means we have to defeat the intruder. Late-breaking news indicate great results achieved through our psychological operations division.

When an elder member of the press corps suggested the psyops campaign in question consisted merely of deceiving "Editing Unit #5 [slashdot.org]" into linking to http://nasaupdatecenter.us/press.html [nasaupdatecenter.us] instead of http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/newsroom/pressreleases/20120928a.html [nasa.gov], K'Breel had the young reporter's gelsacs slashed, after which the small, rounded particles were first catalyzed into plastic, and upon further heating, reduced to volcanic lapilli.

(An audio recording of Reporter #54550 screaming "Sorry, samzenpus, you put your foot in it today, I swear to CmdrTaco it wasn't me! No hard feelings! Don't devitrify me, 'bro!" as he was led away to the thermal polymerization chamber, has not been authenticated.)

Source: http://rss.slashdot.org/~r/Slashdot/slashdotScience/~3/L3W3kIeQFXM/story01.htm

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